He said yes in the end, of course, but after a great great night it was all (almost) ruined when Leo called.......and kept calling...... and messaging...... even at 4.45am..... this pissed off Ben like nothing else. He exploded and was truly burning with jealousy. But I wouldn't give in and wouldn't let go and eventually after much screaming and fighting and crying we went back to his place and fell asleep. We spent the day together, in bed, talking, laughing, eating, drinking and of course making love. That was probably the happiest day Ben and I have spent together in all the years of knowing each other. It was probably one of the most memorable days of my life. There was so much love, all true. And we were both reminded of how well we just fit with each other.
Ofcourse I kind of ended it with Leo after that. We still talk.... and said we'll still hang out... and he thinks we'll still make love, etc., though we haven't since the weekend but I don't know. I don't think so. I knew quite early that I don't have that magic with him. And after the weekend I know that I'm not over Ben, so I can't be with Leo.
I'm so damn screwed....... but it feels so good to be with him.... AND I've never seen him this happy. Hmpf, I'm getting that intuitive feeling again that there are more dramas and twists and turns to come before he leaves!
